Just Be Yourself…Yeah, right!

How often have we heard, “just be yourself and you’ll do great”. This is the most generic piece of advice anyone can give. It is a nice thing to say without actually needing to know anything about you and yet encourages you to do whatever it is you need to do. It gives false hopes to all of us, because if we were in fact ourselves in these new and intimidating situations we would probably be kicked out or stared at after making some silly joke or looking just a little too comfortable.

The only people who have the luxury of extravagant behavior are the people that others suck up to, like big time lottery winners, or some other person with too much money (and we all know how pleasant they can be). We can’t be ourselves and we aren’t expected to be ourselves initially, that stuff can only come later after we’ve proved that our presence is worthwhile using the version of ourselves that we think people want to meet.

What that really means is be the person you are, when you are on your very best behavior. So, sit up straight, smile, and make pleasant conversation.
Don’t actually “be yourself” until later, when you are sure they like you.